www.kristywyatt.com who do you think you are blog

Who do You Think You Are?

If someone were to ask you “who are you?”, what would be your answer? We often confuse who we are for what we do. For instance, I might answer, “I’m Kristy Wyatt. I’m a writer, musician, and (most importantly) a mom.” And while those are all parts of me and what I do, they are not who I am.

Who we are, and who we think we are can be very different things as well. People who kristywyatt.com who do you think you are blogdon’t have a clear understanding of their self-worth will likely have skewed self-esteem also. This is something I’ve struggled with for years. When someone tells me I’m beautiful, I reply, “I’m fat.” When someone compliments me on a talent I have, I deflect the compliment by telling them something I’m not good at – like visual art, for example. I know I’m not the only one out there who can’t seem to accept that someone else sees something good in them. But, why? How did we go from the innocent child who accepted compliments as truth, to this woman who doesn’t believe she’s worth a whole lot?

I imagine the answer to that would be a little different for every woman out there. We all have our own stories. But I’m willing to bet money that we all have one thing in common: We’ve lost sight of who we are in Christ. Our true identities lie in Him. But we tend to look elsewhere for our self-worth and identities.

If God can see our worth, why can’t we?

  • We have let society influence us. We are constantly shown the disillusion of perfection. Magazines, television/movies, and social media have wiggled their way into our subconscious. We can’t help but compare ourselves to others in looks, finances, success – the list goes on. We forget that these things are not the whole truth. Often times, they’re not the truth at all.
  • We listen to the naysayers. If you’re like me, you have people in your life that are your biggest cheerleaders and those in your life who are your biggest critics. Constructive criticism is helpful. But there are those people who are perpetually negative. There is nothing positive in what they say. And yes, we tend to listen to these critics far more than our supporters. We need to remember that people who are overly negative and bring you down are usually projecting their issues onto you. Find a couple of people you can trust for truth. Be careful who you allow to influence you.
  • We’re disconnected from God. (If you’ve read this blog for any period of time, you’ll see this tends to be a theme.) When there is a disconnect with God, we lose sight of His plan for us. When we aren’t living out his plan for our lives, we start to feel as though life is meaningless. I’ve been in both places, and I can tell you from experience that when I lived life for myself, I had never been more unhappy or lost. But living my life the way He has led me to is giving me such purpose and an inner joy like I’ve never known before. Sure, I have a long way to go. But every day, when I spend time with Him, seeking His will, my skewed vision of my self-worth becomes a little clearer.

So, who are you? You are the daughter of the king. That’s right, love! You’re a princess. kristywyatt.com who do you think you are blogGod loves you. Take a deep breath and digest that. He. Loves. You. What have we done to deserve His love? Nothing. His love isn’t based on merit, good deeds, or because we totally rocked the talent show in 6th grade. He loves us more than our human minds can understand because we are His. He has never seen anything more beautiful than you. He has never been more interested in anything more than His interest in you. He has never wanted to spend time with anyone more than He wants to spend time with you. Are you feeling special yet?

Most importantly, you are worth the cost of forgiveness. You were worth the price Jesus paid on the cross for our freedom. You are worth it.

I can’t stress this enough to you beautiful, talented, amazing women reading this post. You are worth more than anything. You are loved by the one true God. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. He knows how many hairs you have on your head. (Which, c’mon, changes constantly, right? #IShedLikeMyDog) He cares so much about you that He gave His only Son to make sure that He could spend eternity with you. Stop looking for your worth in things of this world. You are worth the love of God. And there is nothing greater than that.

kristywyatt.com bible coffee

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7

She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

God is within her, she will not fall. Psalm 46:5

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Proverbs 31:26

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. Song of Solomon 4:7

(I couldn’t choose just 3 verses. LOL)

kristywyatt.com Music

“Who You Say I Am” by Hillsong YouTube

“Who You Say I Am” by Hillsong Spotify

Thank you for sharing!

From Mom-Shaming to Mom-Celebrating

pexels-photo-116151If you’re a mother, you’ve been there. In that moment, you’re desperate. You’d do almost anything to quiet that kiddo down. You tried bribing – something you swore you’d never do. You attempted to bargain with God – “Lord, if you magically put this kid to sleep, I swear I’ll do anything you want!” But, no can do. That monster of yours has just reached a high screech that makes dogs whine, and there is no calming them down. You’re this close to pulling your own hair out. You shoot apologetic glances to those around you who have to listen to your screaming child. And then it happens. Mom-Shaming.

There is nothing worse than standing in a long line at the store with a child who’s throwing a fit. Unless of course, there is someone who is telling you what a terrible mother you are while you’re standing in line with a child who’s throwing a fit. That is most definitely worse.

I’ve often wondered what is going through the mind of a mom-shamer. Do they think their harsh words will give you some sort of ah-ha moment that will make you mysteriously get your kid to stop crying? “Wow! Thank you for telling me what a terrible mother I am – I’ve seen the light!” Does it make them feel superior? No offence, but they should aim higher as that’s not exactly a mother’s best moment. Maybe they really think they have the answers. But if that were the case, what about that delivery is helpful? I try to always assume the best intentions of those with whom I interact. But no matter how I try, I can’t come up with a positive spin on mom-shaming.

It breaks my heart to think that women can be so mean-hearted to one another. Motherhood is hard. (Understatement of the century, right?) So why is it that when we see a mom in a moment of struggle, we decide to (metaphorically) kick her?

Everyone has their own idea of the “correct” way to raise a child. Most mothers are open to advice, especially if this is their first rodeo. But if you get nothing else from this post, please understand this: no one wants advice in the form of hostility. That is not helpful. In fact, it makes the situation far worse. Which brings me back to the question of intention.

Here are three things I’ve learned about mom-shaming.

  1. Mom-shaming isn’t about you.

Most mom-shaming happens from someone who has no idea who you are, or what you have been through. In the example I used at the beginning of this blog, the mom-shamer probably doesn’t know that your child caused most of the items in aisle 15 to fall on the ground in the store and that he hit his sister not once, not twice, but three times in the last pexels-photo-235554ten minutes, and he’s screaming at the top of his lungs because you said he couldn’t have a KitKat bar. She doesn’t know that due to this chain of events, you’ve reached your limit. She also has no idea that you kissed his boo-boo earlier, how he always says “pwease and tank you” thanks to your superb mommying skills, or how you read to him out of a children’s bible every day. It’s in this chaotic moment, with your red face, the vein popping out of your forehead and wild eyes, that this person judged you. I promise it says more about that person than it does you.

  1. We’ve all done it.

Many of you are fiercely denying that we have mom-shamed before. But think about it. In your whole life, have you ever looked at a mother and judged them? The answer is yes. We mustn’t forget that we all make mom-mistakes and that mom-shaming only makes these mistakes harder to get over. Listen, we are forgiven by the creator of the universe for everything we have ever done and will ever do. This is not limited to motherhood, but everything. If the creator – the one true God – can forgive us anything, who are we to cast judgement on a mother just trying to do her best? Would it kill us to say something nice and encouraging to her? What if we said, “do you need anything? Can I help you in some way?” Or “I’ve totally been there. It gets better.”

  1. In the end, it doesn’t matter.

The mom-shamer will go their way, and you yours. Sure, your pride is hurt and you’ll tell someone about that mean person at the store. You’ll question why God gpexels-photo-532389ave you these children when you’re doing such a “terrible job” raising them. But then your baby, the very one who seemed possessed in the store, will crawl on your lap and look at you with big eyes and say, “I love you, mommy”. And you’ll feel sorry for that mom-shamer because she only saw the worst instead of what was really there: true, pure, unconditional love.

Mom-shaming is no different than bullying. People are so quick to judge other moms when we should be celebrating moms. This mom gig is hard! We shine sometimes and just plain stink other times. But isn’t that life in general? I challenge you to “Mom-celebrate”! When you see a mom doing great, show kindness and pray for them. When you see a mom struggling, offer to help, show kindness, and pray for them. It’s really very simple. Choose kindness. Show love. Mom-celebrate!

 

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And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6 (NLT)

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:16 (NLT)

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

 

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“With Every Act of Love” by, Jason Gray YouTube

“With Every Act of Love” by, Jason Gray Spotify

 

 

 

Thank you for sharing!