Jesus Cross Forgiveness Blog Kristy Wyatt

Why You Need To Forgive

March 27, 2018April 12, 201814 Comments

I’ve been told that I’m a good “forgiver”. I’ve been asked on more than one occasion, “Why do you still let so-and-so in your life after what they did?”. I used to shrug and say, “everyone makes mistakes, right?” But I really never gave it much thought. I assumed it was a part of my personality. The part of me that hates confrontation and will do anything – including forgive – to keep the peace. But these last few months, I’ve had to really test forgiveness. I’ve had the opportunity to forgive someone in my life, and forgive myself. In this process, I really dug deep into what forgiveness is and how it’s done.

To understand forgiveness, we must first seek the source – God.

God is the ultimate forgiver. I once heard someone say, “If Jesus had to die for your sins, then it’s not really forgiveness.” I can understand the misinterpretation of why Jesus had to die on the cross, and rise again. You see, forgiveness and consequences are not mutually exclusive. You can have the hardship of consequences while reaping the grace of forgiveness. In other words, while God forgave me for my sins, the consequences had to happen. There was still a price for my wrongdoing, just like when your teenager slacks off at school. You will forgive them, but they’re still going to lose video game privileges. That’s forgiveness with consequences.

God sent His one son to this earth to live a sinless life only to die the death of a sinner. Take that in for a moment. God loved us so much that he didn’t want us to suffer for an eternity for our sins. He gave the consequences to Jesus and the forgiveness to us. If God can forgive us for the horrible things we’ve done – and we’ve all done horrible things – who are we to deny forgiveness? Are we so holy that we are above God? Is our judgement higher than His? If the creator of this earth, of us, can look at an adulterer, a liar, a murderer, a bully, an abuser – the list can go on forever – with love and forgiveness, why on earth do we think we have the right to do any different? Perhaps we need to humble ourselves.

Please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying. Forgiveness is just that – forgiveness. It is not staying in a bad situation. You can forgive someone and still choose to let them go from your life. That would be part of the consequences they would experience.

Some might say that some people don’t deserve forgiveness. You’ll often hear someone who is upset say, “I’ll never forgive you for this.” But we must remember that withholding forgiveness doesn’t hurt the other person. It hurts us.

3 Ways Withholding Forgiveness Hurts Us:

Holding on to hurt and anger is like a poison that slowly spreads throughout your body. You develop bitterness. It can change your whole outlook on life. It can make you physically ill, or cause you to sabotage important relationships. It could mean the difference between living a happy life, or a miserable life. When you truly forgive, you let that go. You don’t free the person who wronged you. You free yourself.
When you’re unforgiving, you’re missing out on something God wanted you to learn. In this imperfect world, we have pain. It’s inevitable. Someone will do something to offend you and/or hurt you. When this happens, you can let that sit on your heart and weigh you down, or you can choose to forgive. Ask God what He wants you to learn from this experience. There is a lesson in everything. We’re just usually too consumed with our feelings to see what that lesson is.
Withholding forgiveness will separate you from God. Let’s take a moment to reflect over our lives. We could all fill a notebook (or a few notebooks) with a list of our sins. We’ve hurt people; we’ve hurt God. We’ve been unfaithful and often times we try to justify it instead of repenting. Still, God forgives. His love is perfect and faithful regardless of our impure hearts. So imagine what it must feel like to God to forgive us absolutely everything, to send His son to die for our sins, only for us to withhold forgiveness to someone else, or even ourselves?

So, how do we forgive someone who has hurt us?

Take a little time. There is nothing wrong with wanting a little space. Often times our hearts have to catch up with our brains. Give yourself a moment to catch your breath.
Withhold your words. Hurtful words tend to fly when we’re hurting. You know that annoying saying “two wrongs don’t make a right”? Well, it’s true. If you handle tough situations with grace, you will only have to deal with forgiving the other person rather than forgiving them and yourself for the way you reacted.
It’s likely you’ll have to forgive something over and over again. Sure last week you felt like you had a brand new start with someone. You’d forgiven them – all was well. But today, someone brought up the one thing that cut you deep, and the pain is fresh. Suddenly you’re back in the moment it all happened. You have to choose to forgive again. And again.
Pray pray pray! God is a pro at forgiveness. So we should constantly be asking for His help with this. It’s His desire for us to live healthy, happy lives. Forgiveness is a part of that plan. Spend time with God in His word and in prayer. Open your heart. He will speak to you. He will help you through it.

With this being the week of Easter, it’s important for us to remember how much we need forgiveness in our lives. It’s as important to give forgiveness as it is to receive it. Offering grace where it isn’t deserved is the best way to show love for someone.

*Below is a link to a video. Please take a few minutes to watch it. Love and blessings you you all! xoxo

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37

PLEASE watch this video! It will change the way you look at forgiveness.

“Forgiveness” by, Matthew West (Forgiveness Story)

From Mom-Shaming to Mom-Celebrating

March 16, 2018March 16, 20182 Comments

pexels-photo-116151 If you’re a mother, you’ve been there. In that moment, you’re desperate. You’d do almost anything to quiet that kiddo down. You tried bribing – something you swore you’d never do. You attempted to bargain with God – “Lord, if you magically put this kid to sleep, I swear I’ll do anything you want!” But, no can do. That monster of yours has just reached a high screech that makes dogs whine, and there is no calming them down. You’re this close to pulling your own hair out. You shoot apologetic glances to those around you who have to listen to your screaming child. And then it happens. Mom-Shaming.

There is nothing worse than standing in a long line at the store with a child who’s throwing a fit. Unless of course, there is someone who is telling you what a terrible mother you are while you’re standing in line with a child who’s throwing a fit. That is most definitely worse.

I’ve often wondered what is going through the mind of a mom-shamer. Do they think their harsh words will give you some sort of ah-ha moment that will make you mysteriously get your kid to stop crying? “Wow! Thank you for telling me what a terrible mother I am – I’ve seen the light!” Does it make them feel superior? No offence, but they should aim higher as that’s not exactly a mother’s best moment. Maybe they really think they have the answers. But if that were the case, what about that delivery is helpful? I try to always assume the best intentions of those with whom I interact. But no matter how I try, I can’t come up with a positive spin on mom-shaming.

It breaks my heart to think that women can be so mean-hearted to one another. Motherhood is hard. (Understatement of the century, right?) So why is it that when we see a mom in a moment of struggle, we decide to (metaphorically) kick her?

Everyone has their own idea of the “correct” way to raise a child. Most mothers are open to advice, especially if this is their first rodeo. But if you get nothing else from this post, please understand this: no one wants advice in the form of hostility. That is not helpful. In fact, it makes the situation far worse. Which brings me back to the question of intention.

Here are three things I’ve learned about mom-shaming.

Mom-shaming isn’t about you.

Most mom-shaming happens from someone who has no idea who you are, or what you have been through. In the example I used at the beginning of this blog, the mom-shamer probably doesn’t know that your child caused most of the items in aisle 15 to fall on the ground in the store and that he hit his sister not once, not twice, but three times in the last pexels-photo-235554 ten minutes, and he’s screaming at the top of his lungs because you said he couldn’t have a KitKat bar. She doesn’t know that due to this chain of events, you’ve reached your limit. She also has no idea that you kissed his boo-boo earlier, how he always says “pwease and tank you” thanks to your superb mommying skills, or how you read to him out of a children’s bible every day. It’s in this chaotic moment, with your red face, the vein popping out of your forehead and wild eyes, that this person judged you. I promise it says more about that person than it does you.

We’ve all done it.

Many of you are fiercely denying that we have mom-shamed before. But think about it. In your whole life, have you ever looked at a mother and judged them? The answer is yes. We mustn’t forget that we all make mom-mistakes and that mom-shaming only makes these mistakes harder to get over. Listen, we are forgiven by the creator of the universe for everything we have ever done and will ever do. This is not limited to motherhood, but everything. If the creator – the one true God – can forgive us anything, who are we to cast judgement on a mother just trying to do her best? Would it kill us to say something nice and encouraging to her? What if we said, “do you need anything? Can I help you in some way?” Or “I’ve totally been there. It gets better.”

In the end, it doesn’t matter.

The mom-shamer will go their way, and you yours. Sure, your pride is hurt and you’ll tell someone about that mean person at the store. You’ll question why God g pexels-photo-532389 ave you these children when you’re doing such a “terrible job” raising them. But then your baby, the very one who seemed possessed in the store, will crawl on your lap and look at you with big eyes and say, “I love you, mommy”. And you’ll feel sorry for that mom-shamer because she only saw the worst instead of what was really there: true, pure, unconditional love.

Mom-shaming is no different than bullying. People are so quick to judge other moms when we should be celebrating moms. This mom gig is hard! We shine sometimes and just plain stink other times. But isn’t that life in general? I challenge you to “Mom-celebrate”! When you see a mom doing great, show kindness and pray for them. When you see a mom struggling, offer to help, show kindness, and pray for them. It’s really very simple. Choose kindness. Show love. Mom-celebrate!

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And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6 (NLT)

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:16 (NLT)

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

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“With Every Act of Love” by, Jason Gray YouTube

“With Every Act of Love” by, Jason Gray Spotify

You Can

March 13, 2018April 23, 20184 Comments

How many times do we say “I can’t…” in a day? A week? A year? How many opportunities, or chances do we miss by giving up before we even begin? There are a few reasons why one might think they can’t do something. And I’m going to discredit these reasons, effectively giving us no excuses. Are you ready for the truth?

Reason #3 why we say “I can’t”:

We’re scared. This is arguably the most common reason we tell ourselves that we can’t do something. Now, we don’t want to admit that we’re scared, because hey! We have our pride, right? If we don’t take chances, we’ll never fail. If we never fail, our egos are never bruised. If we keep things simple, we always look good. We decide to settle for careers that don’t challenge us. We convince ourselves that while we see a need, we aren’t the right “fit” to fill that need. We often leave the difficult tasks to others who are more “qualified” than we are. Why do we do this? Why do we let fear and pride hold us back? Easy. We do this because we are thinking about tackling these obstacles with only our strength and abilities.

As Christian women, we have access to the power of the creator. Read that again. Let that sink in. We have access to His power! We are all likely familiar with Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”. All things. Ladies, let me tell you something that I hope changes the way you look at your life. You have a talent, you have a passion, and it is not by accident. God has blessed every single one of us with talents in different areas because He wants to use us. And the passion! If you think you are not a passionate person, you need to dig deeper. God made us all passionate about something. If you ask God where and how He wants you to serve, He will show you. Once you find your place in serving, you will feel a passion rise inside of you that you didn’t know existed.

When we start undertaking our dreams, talents, passions, obstacles, ministries, motherhood, marriage using His power instead of ours, there is nothing that we can’t do.

Reason #2 why we say “I can’t”:

We may not have the support of our spouse and/or family members. This is such a difficult place to be. If you are in this position, it’s likely you’ve dreamed of something for a long time. You may have even begun the journey to reach your goals, achieve that dream, or serve God the way you feel led. But despite your efforts, you give up because it’s hurting your relationship. You finally say, “I can’t sacrifice my marriage for this.” And you’re right. If you actively seek your goals when your spouse doesn’t support them, either your goal or the relationship will fail.

But don’t give up! There is another option. If we take a moment to really examine the situation, we will see that this is a job for God, not us! We as human beings do not have the power to change hearts. But it just so happens that God specializes in that very thing.

I challenge you to change your focus. Pray for your spouse instead of praying for yourself and your dream/goal. Pray for your spouse to seek God and His plan. Have an honest and open conversation with your spouse about why you feel led to do whatever it is you want to do and then pray about it together. Finally, speak to your pastor and/or a Christian counselor. All of these actions will give God opportunities to work in your marriage/relationship in multiple ways. Trust me when I say if God wants this to happen, He will make a way.

Reason #1 why we say, “I can’t”:

We’re lazy. Ouch. The truth hurts, huh? We have grown complacent in our lives. We live happily in our comfort zone and the thought of all the work we’d have to do is not appealing. We justify these thoughts by telling ourselves “I’m too busy” or “I’m too old” or “Someone else will do it”. But if God is calling you to do something, no excuse will work. This happens to be something I have personal experience in…

I sang on the worship team for nine years at a church. Singing is a true passion of mine, and singing for God – there really are no words to describe how fulfilling it is. However, due to unfortunate circumstances, we left that church feeling hurt and betrayed. I wallowed in self-pity for two years by choosing to sleep in on Sundays. I didn’t make any effort to further my relationship with God, and I didn’t serve.

My best friend belongs to a local church and she invited me to go every time we talked. Every. Time. It was so annoying! LOL. She even tried to bribe me with chocolate! (I didn’t mind that so much.) God had been telling me to go. But, alas, I am a stubborn daughter. I came up with excuse after excuse, continued to tell God and my bestie “no” over and over. But my time to say “no” ran out.

At a local skating rink for my bestie’s son’s birthday party, she introduced me to someone. She said, “Kristy, this is Pastor Brett. Brett, Kristy wants to sing on the worship team.” Then she turned around and walked away while I stood there gaping like a fish out of water. I auditioned for the worship team the following week, and joined the church immediately after. If you ask my friend, she’d tell you that God called her to get me to church. You see, God wasn’t only telling me to go, He was working on the people in my life too. He set the stage, opened the door, and almost literally pushed me through it.

We can come up with hundreds of reasons why we “can’t” do what God is calling us to do. We’re wives, mothers, single mothers, employees, employers, homemakers, homeschoolers, dance/football/baseball/basketball/soccer/wrestling moms, PTA volunteers, caretakers of our parents, sounding boards for siblings, Aunts, Grandmothers, friends, the glue that holds our families together. But without God, we are nothing.

He made us for a purpose. He made you exactly the way He wanted you. He wove your talent into you. He placed your dreams and passion in your soul. I’m here to tell you that you can’t ignore it. If you don’t do what you were put on this earth to do, you will forever feel incomplete and unsatisfied. Every single reason you “can’t”, every excuse can be reversed and fixed by God. Seek His will in your life and you will live a life full of purpose and passion. Trust me, YOU CAN!

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

…for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:13 (NIV)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)

“Dream For You” by, Casting Crowns (YouTube)

“Dream For You” by, Casting Crowns (Spotify)

Images provided by,

Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

Kyle Broad on Unsplash

Ryan Holloway on Unsplash

In The Middle Of The Storm

March 8, 2018April 23, 20184 Comments

As followers of Christ, we are taught to bring our requests to God. When we want that raise or a new job, when we really need to sell the house so we can buy the new one with the extra bathroom, or when we just really would like to get a full night sleep without the baby crying, we pray. We pray for what we need, what we want, and for our parents’ health. We expect God to hear our prayers. We expect God to be faithful. We expect God to do what we want, when we want it. This is where we often run into trouble.

We forget that God is in control. We forget that God has a master plan. He doesn’t have a plan A, B, and so on. No, He has one plan. THE plan. This plan cannot fail. No matter how many things go wrong or seem impossible, God is already hundreds of steps ahead.

We humans have a habit of looking at our circumstances, and basing our opinions, goals, and conclusions on them. We forget that God’s view is by far superior to ours. It’s like comparing a basement window with a view of the brick building two feet away to the view of Hawaii on top of a volcano. There is no comparison. He sees you and your circumstances, but He also sees your future. He is intimately familiar with the storm you’re in, and how it will shape you and make you ready for the brighter days ahead. We merely see the storm.

We get angry with God. We say “What did I do to deserve this?” and “He must really be mad at me.” Nowhere in the bible does it say that once we believe, life is perfect. No, life can’t be perfect because we live in a world full of imperfect people. We all know this, and yet, we expect life to be easy. Why? Where did that expectation come from? Some might say “Well, if He really loves me, then why would He allow this to happen?” I can’t answer that question for you. I can only say that nowhere in the entire world, universe, or beyond will you find someone who loves you more than the way God loves you.

God loves you so much that you are a part of His master plan. Yes, you! You play a leading role. And for whatever reason, you have to go through this storm and trust that He has a very good reason for it. It takes absolute trust in Him to have that outlook. But when you do, it changes your frame of mind. You look at these circumstances differently than you did before. Your expectations change. You realize that God did not forsake you, He’s merely molding you to be the person you need to be for His plan.

It hurts. Trust me, I know. I’m in the middle of a massive storm right now. It’s the most difficult time I’ve ever lived through. But we’re not meant to go through this alone. God gave us arms to hug each other, to comfort one another. God gave us tongues to speak His truth to someone who is hurting. God gave us other women who have been though the same storm you’re in now to speak about their journey and encourage us. God gave us a love letter with all the secrets to life – we only have to read it. God gave us a savior so we will never be apart from Him.

Sometimes we forget how truly blessed we are. We’re blinded by the dark clouds, the long journey, and the pain. But if we’re brutally honest, we can admit that we are extremely blessed. We can see that God hasn’t forgotten us, nor does He hate us.

One day we will look back at this moment in our lives. We will say things like “the only reason I made it through that time was because of God’s strength, God’s love, and the people God placed in my life.” You may even find yourself looking into the tearful eyes of a woman who is in the middle of a storm similar to the one that you endured and you will thank God for the storm that shaped you into the woman you became. You will thank Him for the opportunity to share your experience and His love. One day we will more than understand. We will share His view.

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