Feel The Pain

If you’ve read my blog before, you’re likely familiar with how often I talk about mind frame and keeping a positive attitude. In my post about a victim’s mindset, we see how that mindset can be self-destructing. Important as all that is, there are times where it is healthy to stop and just feel the pain.

We’ve all had painful times in our lives. The loss of a life’s work, the loss of a friendship, a victim of abuse, you or someone you love fighting serious illness, the death of someone close to you, the death of your child, the death of a spouse, or in my situation, divorce. All of these can bring us to our knees. And while we may hate it, the pain is necessary.

There are five stages of grief, and grief would be felt in any of these situations.

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

This can be a bit misleading, however, because it’s rarely felt in order and people will likely visit some of these stages more than once.

The stages of grief are what we experience. But what if we derail our grief? Would we ever move past the situation? Would we ever heal?

As you know, the tagline for my blog is “Real life. Real Faith. Real Women.” Well, prepare yourself, because I’m about to get real. I derailed my grief. One of the first things I did pain a single: start this blog. I wrote about hard times, remaining positive, staying in the right frame of mind, etc. And I still think these are all important. But I missed something. I refused to let myself feel too much. Sure, there were moments I’d succumb to the pain. But then I’d say something to myself like, “Suck it up. You’re too blessed to be crying. You have kids and a job. You don’t have time for a pity party.” So I’d throw on a little mascara and a smile, and I’d go on.

By doing this, I’d done myself a disservice. I filled my days until they were so tightly packed that I ran out of time to do much thinking or feeling at all. I kept busy and gave the persona that I was doing well. Until one day I just couldn’t anymore. My body gave out. My mind gave out. I was so physically and emotionally exhausted from denying myself grief, that all I could do was lie there.

Deadlines suddenly didn’t mean a whole lot to me. I wasn’t concerned with keeping appointments. The kids even missed a couple of sports practices. It’s like I went completely out of commission. No matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I couldn’t hold back the grief. I tried reading uplifting things. I tried listening to the amazing podcasts that inspire me. But it didn’t work. And then, I cried.

Grief hit me like a tsunami and suddenly everything I’d tried to ignore for the last five months cashed into me and I crumbled. The pity party that I tell people not to attend, oh yeah. I threw one heck of a pity party for myself. I hated every single moment of it. I cried out to God. I yelled. I sobbed. I mourned the relationship I’d had for eighteen years. I mourned the future we should have had. I became angry. I fell into a black hole of desperation. And it was good.

I’ve realized that I have to let myself feel. There has been a significant change in my life. Of course there are feelings. Of course I need to deal with them. If we don’t embrace grief, we can’t heal. If we can’t heal, we will never move forward. We will stay where we are, carrying the weight of all we’ve lost. We’re not made to do that.

We must remember that Jesus came before us. He felt everything we’ve ever felt. Think about that. Our greatest joys, our greatest sorrows. He’s felt it all. We may think that no one understands what we’re going through, but I can promise you that at least one being does completely understand.  Jesus.

Not only did He experience it, He showed us how to handle it. How often we forget that there is an instruction manual. We have the bible! He shows us how to handle the hardest of times with grace. He shows us by example how to keep the faith. He tells us 365 times not to be afraid. Ladies, we can’t get so lost in ourselves that we forget to seek feel the pain 2Him. He is here with me through this. He is there with you through your struggles. We only have to allow ourselves to feel to know.

Grief is no joke. It hurts, and that’s a huge understatement. But it’s necessary. My grieving time is far from over, but I feel lighter somehow. I’ve moved forward. I’m beginning to heal.

We aren’t meant to do this alone. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone to help you through it. God created community for a reason. Churches everywhere will welcome you. There are support groups for every situation. And most of all, continue to seek the Lord.

Love and prayers to all of you.

Click here to submit a prayer request. bible coffee

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18 Music

“Hold My Heart” by, Tenth Avenue North judgment

In The Presence Of Judgment

Several people have told me over the years, “I can’t quite figure you out.”. It’s true. I’m a bit of an enigma. By nature, I have the traits of an artist – messy, unorganized, procrastinator, can get lost for hours in writing or music – but by day, I work in an accounting department where I manage to stay organized and efficient. I struggle with anxiety and depression, but I love nothing more than to make people laugh and I tend to give off a “happy” vibe. And though I have a broken heart, I have a blog telling other women it will all be alright.

kristywyatt.comIt’s easy to understand why one might be confused about me. But like you, I have many layers, many sides to who I am. We’ve all been through great times and hard times, and each experience has helped to shape us into the person we are. We have scars – physical and emotional – that we carry with us every day. We have triggers that bring up memories – pleasant and unpleasant.

Still, I’m often misunderstood. I get the impression many of us are. We form opinions on others. We interact with them once, maybe a few times, and then decide if we “like” that person. We may dislike their arrogance. We may judge a woman for her weight – too heavy, too thin. We may decide someone is a snob because she didn’t speak to us. We do this every day. We form our opinions based on interactions we have with them, or what we see of them. But allow me to challenge you here. Is it possible you don’t know the whole story? Is it possible your opinion is wrong?

Perhaps that “arrogant” person has been hurt by someone so deeply that what you judgmentperceive as arrogance is, in fact, a wall they built up to protect themselves? What if the woman who’s too heavy has a thyroid problem, and the person who’s too thin has someone whispering in her ear that she isn’t good enough until she loses more weight? What if that “snob” suffers from social anxiety because she was bullied growing up? We only saw one layer of these people instead of realizing there is a whole person in there, and then we judged them.

I am judged daily. I’m willing to bet you are too. I’m overweight. I’m a single mom. I’m a Christian. I have some gray hair. I color my hair to cover the grays. Sometimes I curse. Sometimes I lose my temper. Sometimes I fail. And every day, people judge me. And every day, people judge you. And every day we judge others. I know, I tried to deny it too. But if we’re being really honest here, we’ll see that we do. We’ve all been in situations where we’ve judged someone.

So how do we stop judging?

  • We have to look at them with our “Jesus glasses” on. Jesus showed kindness, acceptance, and love to all. The adulterer, the lame man, the poor, the list goes on. No one was below Him. We are called to live that way. He was perfect! He owed no one anything. If anyone had a right to judge, it would have been Him. But He didn’t. Who are we to think we have that right?
  • Stop participating in gossip. Someone is always talking negatively about someone. What is the point of that? What are we judgment3hoping will happen with that exercise? Do we want others to dislike the same person we dislike? Why? To validate our feelings? Do we even know what we’re saying is true? And so what if it is true? Our list of sins is long, is it not? Just remember while we’re talking negatively about someone else, someone is likely talking about us. One of my favorite quotes is by Eleanor Roosevelt, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
  • Pray for those who judge you. Ooh. This one is hard. It is human nature to want to argue your point and prove you’re a “good person”. I’ve been judged unfairly – I get it. And as someone who likes to be liked, it bugs the crap out of me when someone judges me. We have to remember, though, that their judgment is not a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of them. When we look at it from that angle, we realize that they need prayer. They may be lost. They need to see how Jesus treated the least of these. When someone has the love of Christ in them, and are truly seeking God, they start to view all people as His. Imperfect is perfectly okay. Jesus has got us covered.

In closing, I’d like to say that we all struggle in this area to some degree. Be prayerful about it. God will show you where you need to work on this. He’s helped me a lot in this area. And when you’re the one being judged, say a prayer. Respond with kindness. It isn’t enough to tell people we believe in a loving and forgiving God, we must live it. We must show it through our actions how much His forgiveness and acceptance has changed our lives. bible coffee

“‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me’” Matthew 25:40

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12 Music


“When Love Broke Through” by TobyMac AMAZING VIDEO!!! it is written

It is Written

You know those times when it doesn’t just rain, it pours? The times where not just one or two things go wrong, but everything seems to go wrong? We try. Things fall apart. We try harder. More things fall apart. It can throw us into desperation, frustration, and sometimes depression. And while some might say all of this means you’re going down the wrong road, and you need to try something different or go in a different direction, I say it may very well mean you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

When we live life for ourselves, and focus on our own needs and wants, things are generally pretty good. But when we start to seek His will, begin to focus on where He wants us, do what He’s called us to do, that’s when we often find roadblocks and hardships. Seems backward, right?

If it’s His plan for us, why is it so hard?

  • The Bible Warns us. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. 2 Timothy 3:12 Sounds like fun! Where do I sign up? LOL. It’s a common misconception that once you become a Christian, life is easy peasy. It’s In fact, people who seek God honestly and humbly will experience hardships. But trust Him. His plan is perfect and if you keep going, the reward far outweighs any earthly hardship you’ll endure.
  • The enemy attacks. If you’re targeted by the enemy, congratulations! No, really. I’m serious. It means you’re about to make a difference. It means you’re on the path to furthering the kingdom of God. It means that you’re allowing God to use you. That is AMAZING! Well, it’s amazing to everyone but the enemy. He doesn’t like it so much. It’s never fun to be in the middle of a spiritual war. But, in one, we are. When he’s attacking you, respond with scripture the way Jesus did. It is written. God keeps His promises. No matter what lies the enemy is telling you. No matter what doubt he tries to plant in you. It is written. The spirit dwells inside of you. Respond with the words of our Lord. The enemy is powerless against them.
  • He’s teaching us to rely on Him. I’ve talked about this before in When Life Is More Than You Can Handle. We try to handle things ourselves. We’ve got this. He’s only God – creator of the universe, the one who knit me in my mother’s womb, but I’ve got this. I can handle this. Oh, but it’s always pride before the fall, isn’t it? The truth is, we do need Him. We just forget how much we need Him. Be humble, or He will humble you.

Some of you are kind of freaked out right now, right? None of this sounds fun at all. Well, hardships are never fun. Trust me. I’ve got a lot of them right now. And just when I think I can’t take anything else, when I think that God has somehow forgotten about me, or wonder if my efforts are making any difference at all, someone will reach out and tell me how my words have helped them. They’ll say things like “I really needed to read that today” or “you have no idea how much your blog means to me” or “you inspired me to go back to church”. Now, while these messages touch me and make me so happy, I know it’s not me. It’s all God. He is speaking to these people through me. It is the most incredible, humbling thing I’ve ever felt. 

The truth is, when you’re living for yourself, and not seeking God’s will, you aren’t fulfilling your purpose. That will leave you feeling empty and unsatisfied. God has a plan for your life. And while the attacks aren’t fun, I’ll let you in on a little secret: God wins. It is written. I have read it. He has promised. bible coffee


For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Matthew 23:12

And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved. Matthew 10:22

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 Music

I Will Trust In You by Lauren Daigle YouTube

I Will Trust In You by Lauren Daigle Spotify who do you think you are blog

Who do You Think You Are?

If someone were to ask you “who are you?”, what would be your answer? We often confuse who we are for what we do. For instance, I might answer, “I’m Kristy Wyatt. I’m a writer, musician, and (most importantly) a mom.” And while those are all parts of me and what I do, they are not who I am.

Who we are, and who we think we are can be very different things as well. People who who do you think you are blogdon’t have a clear understanding of their self-worth will likely have skewed self-esteem also. This is something I’ve struggled with for years. When someone tells me I’m beautiful, I reply, “I’m fat.” When someone compliments me on a talent I have, I deflect the compliment by telling them something I’m not good at – like visual art, for example. I know I’m not the only one out there who can’t seem to accept that someone else sees something good in them. But, why? How did we go from the innocent child who accepted compliments as truth, to this woman who doesn’t believe she’s worth a whole lot?

I imagine the answer to that would be a little different for every woman out there. We all have our own stories. But I’m willing to bet money that we all have one thing in common: We’ve lost sight of who we are in Christ. Our true identities lie in Him. But we tend to look elsewhere for our self-worth and identities.

If God can see our worth, why can’t we?

  • We have let society influence us. We are constantly shown the disillusion of perfection. Magazines, television/movies, and social media have wiggled their way into our subconscious. We can’t help but compare ourselves to others in looks, finances, success – the list goes on. We forget that these things are not the whole truth. Often times, they’re not the truth at all.
  • We listen to the naysayers. If you’re like me, you have people in your life that are your biggest cheerleaders and those in your life who are your biggest critics. Constructive criticism is helpful. But there are those people who are perpetually negative. There is nothing positive in what they say. And yes, we tend to listen to these critics far more than our supporters. We need to remember that people who are overly negative and bring you down are usually projecting their issues onto you. Find a couple of people you can trust for truth. Be careful who you allow to influence you.
  • We’re disconnected from God. (If you’ve read this blog for any period of time, you’ll see this tends to be a theme.) When there is a disconnect with God, we lose sight of His plan for us. When we aren’t living out his plan for our lives, we start to feel as though life is meaningless. I’ve been in both places, and I can tell you from experience that when I lived life for myself, I had never been more unhappy or lost. But living my life the way He has led me to is giving me such purpose and an inner joy like I’ve never known before. Sure, I have a long way to go. But every day, when I spend time with Him, seeking His will, my skewed vision of my self-worth becomes a little clearer.

So, who are you? You are the daughter of the king. That’s right, love! You’re a princess. who do you think you are blogGod loves you. Take a deep breath and digest that. He. Loves. You. What have we done to deserve His love? Nothing. His love isn’t based on merit, good deeds, or because we totally rocked the talent show in 6th grade. He loves us more than our human minds can understand because we are His. He has never seen anything more beautiful than you. He has never been more interested in anything more than His interest in you. He has never wanted to spend time with anyone more than He wants to spend time with you. Are you feeling special yet?

Most importantly, you are worth the cost of forgiveness. You were worth the price Jesus paid on the cross for our freedom. You are worth it.

I can’t stress this enough to you beautiful, talented, amazing women reading this post. You are worth more than anything. You are loved by the one true God. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. He knows how many hairs you have on your head. (Which, c’mon, changes constantly, right? #IShedLikeMyDog) He cares so much about you that He gave His only Son to make sure that He could spend eternity with you. Stop looking for your worth in things of this world. You are worth the love of God. And there is nothing greater than that. bible coffee

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7

She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

God is within her, she will not fall. Psalm 46:5

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Proverbs 31:26

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. Song of Solomon 4:7

(I couldn’t choose just 3 verses. LOL) Music

“Who You Say I Am” by Hillsong YouTube

“Who You Say I Am” by Hillsong Spotify nervecited1

Give It To God

Nervcited. It’s a word my daughter made up to describe how she feels before dancing at nerveciteda competition. The combination of nervousness and excitement is apt for all kinds of situations. I heard some news today that caused my heart to stutter with absolute excitement and nervousness. I’ve sat here trying to write this post for a couple of hours and all I can think about is this piece of news. Seriously, guys. Nervcited is a thing!

I know this situation is completely out of my control. It’s in God’s hands. And though He is God, the creator of the heavens and the earth, it’s hard to let go and trust Him to take care of things. What we really mean though, is take care of things the way we want them. He always takes care of things. He is always working things out according to His plan, so why don’t we trust Him? We know that His plan doesn’t always align with ours, that’s why.

We’ve all been down this road. We all think we know exactly what should happen. We all make our plans. And then BAM! Things go the opposite way we expected them to go. Due to this, we tend to get a little nervous about trusting God when the stakes are high. But that’s when we should be thankful He is in control.

We Often Forget

We often forget that God is much bigger than our mountains. Maybe it’s because we can only see the mountains in front of us. We let fear of the worst case scenario scare us into anxiety and mistrust. But God isn’t a mere human. God is God. The creator of all things – the creator of you and me. He loves us with an intensity we can’t comprehend. If there is anyone we can trust, it is God.

Still, we get stressed out and anxious. Giving things to God – trusting Him to take care of situations is difficult. But we have to for our own wellbeing. If we try to control things that are out of our control, it can have a profound negative effect on our wellbeing.

So how do we give it to God?

  • Pray about it. I know – obvious. But how are you currently praying about these things? Does it go something like “God, pleeeeeaaasssee make this happen” or is it more like “God, you know the desires of my heart in this situation. God, I know that you have the power to make this situation turn out the way I want it to. Lord, as much as I want this to go my way, I’m giving it to you. I turn over my attempt at control and trust that you will make this go according to your perfect plan. God, I trust you.”
  • Trust Him. The words we pray are mere words unless it’s backed by trust. Do we really trust Him to take care of it? If not, we need to dig into the word. I mean this with so much love when I say, if you don’t trust God, there is a disconnect somewhere in your relationship. We all know that any disconnect in our relationship with God is on our end.
  • Accept the outcome. In the event our situation doesn’t go in the way we would have liked, how do we react? We might be mad at God – and that’s okay. But ultimately, we have to realize that He knows best. Maybe He was protecting us. Maybe He has bigger and better plans for us. So often we let these things affect our relationship with God in a negative way. I challenge you to trust that He only wants what is best for us. He will never leave nor forsake you.


Remember, God is mad about you. There is nothing He wants more than a relationship with you and your faith in Him. bible coffee

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved  Psalm 55:22

“For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you’” Isaiah 41:14

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you   1 Peter 5:6-7 Music


Blessings by Laura Story YouTube

Blessings by Laura Story Spotify

How To Balance Home And Work Lives

In my previous post, 3 Ways To Make Time For What Matters Most, we discussed why we seem to have less time and how to make more time for the most important things in our lives. However, even with taking those practices into account, we may still find ourselves overwhelmed with our to-do lists. We tend to think about home schedules and to do lists while we’re at work, and think about work while we’re at home. 

How do we balance work life and home life?

  • Stop using the word “balance”. The definition of “balance” is an even distribution of weight of someone or something. Work and home are not, and should not be, even, and therefore, our time should not be evenly distributed between the two. Rather, take a good honest look at how much time we should be spending at work/working and how much time we should balancespend at home. Once we have that nailed down, we can schedule that time to maximize our productivity.
  • Be 100% present. We can’t be productive if our head isn’t in the game. If we’re working, but can’t stop thinking about if little Johnny’s baseball uniform is clean for the game, how productive can we be at work? And later, at the game, we go ahead and check our work email and miss Johnny hit a home run! When we’re at work, be at work. When we’re at home, be at home. We have to make sure that our minds are at the same place our bodies are.
  • Make lists. There will be times when our brains wander off to home and/or work when we’re not there. Usually, it is something important that we shouldn’t ignore. Write it down. Keep a running list on your phone for work and one for home. When you think of something, add it to the list, and then go back to being present. This way you won’t forget that important thing, but you’re giving yourself permission to keep your attention where it needs to be.

How do we get the most out of our time?

  • Block scheduling. This is new to me and I’m loving it! This form of scheduling takes our cyclical tasks and blocks them together. For instance, if we spend thirty minutes every Sunday to make a weekly meal plan, spend an hour and plan Balance 3 whole month. Go ahead and make the grocery lists too.
  • Schedule Social Media. Have you ever found yourself sitting there, scrolling through Facebook, mouth slightly open, and have no clue what you’re looking at? No? Is that just me? When we scroll aimlessly on social media, we can actually go into a trance-like state, and not even see what is in front of us. We waste so much time watching videos we don’t care about when that time could be spent doing something productive. But… it’s fun! I get it. I love social media too! We just have to be mindful of how we use it. Schedule thirty minutes to respond to notifications, and scroll social media. Once the thirty minutes is over, stop. It’ll be hard at first, but eventually, you’ll love it!
  • Turn off phone notifications. What?! Am I crazy? Not in this case. I can’t tell you how many times I find myself glancing at my phone because a notification popped up. New email from Target, New message on Facebook, so-and-so liked your photo on Instagram. I made a tally mark for each time a notification distracted me from my work one day. 33 times, I stopped what I was doing to look at my phone because I saw a notification pop up in my peripheral vision. 33 times! These distractions are giving us a new version of ADD. Turn them off. Schedule a time to check/respond to email. Schedule your social media. Don’t let it distract you from doing what you need to accomplish.
  • Check your schedule before bed. Make sure you double check everything the night before. This helps to mentally prepare you for the next day.

These are small, but mighty tips in making sure your home and work lives coexist in a healthy way. Everyone wants a piece of our time. It’s our responsibility to make sure we protect our time and spend it where it matters most. bible coffee

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people.  Colossians 3:23

Commit your work to the Lord, then it will succeed.  Proverbs 16:3

Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically.  Romans 12:11 Music


“Thrive” by Casting Crowns YouTube

“Thrive” by Casting Crowns Spotify when life is more than you can handle

When Life Is More Than You Can Handle

I’ve heard it said many times that God won’t give you more than you can handle. Recently, I learned that is untrue. You see, I am in the middle of a storm. My heart is when life is more than you can handleabsolutely broken right now. I get up, I go to work. I smile, crack a few jokes. I try to focus on my to-do list. I shuffle kids around in the evening, and then it’s a mad rush to get everything done before going to bed. All of that is fine. I’m busy and that keeps my mind from going to the dark place that I know waits for me in the silence. The place that utterly terrifies me. The place where the pain is overwhelming and it actually steals my breath. As I lie there in a fetal position, the pain won’t be denied any longer, and I know this is more than I can bear on my own.

I believe storms like this are more than we mere humans can handle on our own strength. I also believe that that is by design. If things are always somewhere on a scale of great to not good, we wouldn’t learn to rely on God. But when life falls somewhere between horrible and devastating, as much as we might try, we can’t make it through without Him.

Why we don’t seek God in storms:

  • We don’t realize how bad it really is. Sometimes we’re caught in a somewhat delusional state. Sure, we know our situation is not good, but this is nothing we can’t handle, right? Wrong. Pastor Rick Warren once said that seeking God should be our first response to everything, rather than waiting until the situation is dire to cry out to Him. We forget that God is always there waiting for us. He never strays away from us.
  • Pride. Have you ever hung out with a one-year-old? Have you ever watched them try to climb onto the sofa, but they just can’t quite get on? You reach over and try to help them, but they swat your hand away and say, “I can do it by myself!” That is often us. God wants to help us, to heal us, but we push Him away and say, “I’ve got this, God.” But we don’t. We need Him in every situation. Good, bad, and otherwise.
  • We’ve forgotten about Him. If we aren’t used to talking to God, there’s a good chance you will wait to reach out to Him until you feel like there is nothing left but God. Don’t wait! Let Him love you through this time.

I’m still learning how to decipher when God is speaking to me and when my brain is speaking to me. But there was once in a very broken state I actually heard God speak to me. I know, some of you are rolling your eyes. But it’s true. As I lay in bed, crying, begging for sleep to overtake me, I heard, “I am here.” An immediate calmness came over my shaking body. God was there, and though I couldn’t feel His arms around me, I felt held, I felt loved, and finally, I slept.

How Do We Seek God In The Storm?

  • Seek God relentlessly. You need strength, love, and hope. He is the source of all of these. Have you ever seen the episode of The Office where Pam and Jim use a Bluetooth to stay on the phone all day? (I love The Office. LOL) Imagine when life is more than we can handleyou have a Bluetooth in your ear at all times with God on the line, waiting to talk to you about everything. Talk to Him. He’s listening.
  • Read scripture. There are several ways to do this. The most obvious is a Bible. But if you don’t have one, you can visit several websites like this one to read scripture. You can also get the Bible app on your phone or tablet for free. Or, if you need a pretty picture, Pinterest is full of pretty pictures with scripture. I believe God will reveal what He wants to you through His word.
  • Pray. There is power in prayer. Pray passionately. Don’t worry about what you think you should say, don’t be formal. Just speak to Him.

God uses all things for His glory – even our storms. Without the storm I’m currently in, I wouldn’t have started this site. Now, every day, I hear from at least one woman who says these posts, posts that are inspired by the love of God, have touched them and made a difference in their lives. God is using my pain, this storm to reach others in His name! How AMAZING is that?

Ladies, remember one thing: God loves you! He loves you madly, wildly, passionately. The creator wants to hear from you! He desires to be a part of your life. If that isn’t something to celebrate, I truly don’t know what is. Allow Him to fill you with joy even in the middle of a storm. Allow Him to use you in all your circumstances. You’ll be absolutely amazed at what He can do through us when we stop trying to live life on our strength. bible coffee

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 Music

“Beautiful History” by Plumb YouTube

“Beautiful History” by Plumb Spotify

When You’re Stuck In The Victim’s Mindset

I tend to talk about mindset a lot and there’s a good reason. Mindset can make or break your dreams and goals. It is the difference between joy and bitterness, success and defeat, faith and hopelessness. This particular mindset can take root and be very difficult to fight out of. I’m talking about the victim mindset.

Remaining in a victim mindset is the most destructive thing you can do to your mental and emotional wellbeing. Notice I said “remaining in a victim mindset”. The truth is we have all been victims of something hurtful in our lives. Some have been physically and/or emotionally abused, some sexually assaulted, mistreated, hurt, betrayed, the list can go on forever. We live in a broken world with broken people. We have all been a victim and we have every right to feel what we feel about that situation. However, sometimes we get stuck there and never move on. Sometimes we can’t get over being a victim and we start to see ourselves as a victim in every other relationship and situation.

Why we can’t live in our victim mindset:

  • True, you have every right to feel victimized. You have been deeply hurt. And sometimes we have to spend a little time in the victim mindset to even wrap heads around it. This is where it gets dangerous. After a while, we either pick ourselves up and rise a stronger person, or we let that familiar mindset take deep root in our lives, allowing bitterness, anger, and distrust to play a leading role in our lives.
  • When we live in the victim mindset, we sabotage ourselves. We become jealous of all the good things others have and take it as a personal attack that we don’t have those things too. Our unhappiness pours out from us no matter how hard we try to hide it. We tend to have negative responses and attitudes about everything, effectively causing our bosses to look elsewhere for advancement, spouses to shut down, and friendships to end. At that point, we feel sorry for ourselves because everything is a mess, not realizing how different it could have been if we’d been in a healthier frame of mind.
  • We see everything as a competition. Your sibling might have a bigger house – you feel envious, your coworker got a promotion – you start to look for their weaknesses and criticize them to others to make yourself seem like a better choice, someone has a talent that you feel you should have, so you come up with a weak excuse not to like them. In this state of mind, we are unable to truly be happy for others.

So what does it take to break out of the victim mindset?

  • First, and foremost, seek God. He is the ultimate healer. You may find that you’ mad at Him for “allowing” whatever you went through to happen. That’s okay. Tell Him. Yell at Him if you have to because here’s a little secret: He already knows. So tell Him. Tell Him how much you hurt. Tell Him you need healing. His promises are true. He will not leave you to go through this alone. Only He can reveal how this awful situation will be used for His plan, but trust this: His plan is perfect. He will not leave nor forsake you. He will heal you.
  • Talk to a counselor. There is something about just talking and being real with no filter that is therapeutic. You can’t hold all of the emotions, thoughts, memories in forever. You have to let them out if you’re going to move on. They can also give you helpful emotional/mental exercises and tools to help you on your way to a healthy mindset.
  • Make the decision. Ultimately, you have to want to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I know it’s hard. We get comfortable in our pity party, but that is not a party we need to attend. We have to choose to move on. It can be a long road, but the grass truly is greener on the other side. Imagine a life of joy! You can have that again.

This world is full of heartbreak. We all have a story. But we must remember that with God, all things are possible! All things. If you are residing in a victim state of mind, you may have felt a bit attacked in this post. Please let me assure you this was written with so much love. God’s plan for you is joy, wholeness, and a close relationship with Him. It is possible! You just have to take the first step toward healing – seek God. bible coffee


“LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.” Psalms 30:2

The righteous cry, and the LORD hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Psalms 34:17-20

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 Music

“The Hurt And The Healer” by Mercy Me YouTube

“The Hurt And The Healer” by Mercy Me Spotify