Feel The Pain

If you’ve read my blog before, you’re likely familiar with how often I talk about mind frame and keeping a positive attitude. In my post about a victim’s mindset, we see how that mindset can be self-destructing. Important as all that is, there are times where it is healthy to stop and just feel the pain.

We’ve all had painful times in our lives. The loss of a life’s work, the loss of a friendship, a victim of abuse, you or someone you love fighting serious illness, the death of someone close to you, the death of your child, the death of a spouse, or in my situation, divorce. All of these can bring us to our knees. And while we may hate it, the pain is necessary.

There are five stages of grief, and grief would be felt in any of these situations.

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

This can be a bit misleading, however, because it’s rarely felt in order and people will likely visit some of these stages more than once.

The stages of grief are what we experience. But what if we derail our grief? Would we ever move past the situation? Would we ever heal?

As you know, the tagline for my blog is “Real life. Real Faith. Real Women.” Well, prepare yourself, because I’m about to get real. I derailed my grief. One of the first things I did pain a single: start this blog. I wrote about hard times, remaining positive, staying in the right frame of mind, etc. And I still think these are all important. But I missed something. I refused to let myself feel too much. Sure, there were moments I’d succumb to the pain. But then I’d say something to myself like, “Suck it up. You’re too blessed to be crying. You have kids and a job. You don’t have time for a pity party.” So I’d throw on a little mascara and a smile, and I’d go on.

By doing this, I’d done myself a disservice. I filled my days until they were so tightly packed that I ran out of time to do much thinking or feeling at all. I kept busy and gave the persona that I was doing well. Until one day I just couldn’t anymore. My body gave out. My mind gave out. I was so physically and emotionally exhausted from denying myself grief, that all I could do was lie there.

Deadlines suddenly didn’t mean a whole lot to me. I wasn’t concerned with keeping appointments. The kids even missed a couple of sports practices. It’s like I went completely out of commission. No matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I couldn’t hold back the grief. I tried reading uplifting things. I tried listening to the amazing podcasts that inspire me. But it didn’t work. And then, I cried.

Grief hit me like a tsunami and suddenly everything I’d tried to ignore for the last five months cashed into me and I crumbled. The pity party that I tell people not to attend, oh yeah. I threw one heck of a pity party for myself. I hated every single moment of it. I cried out to God. I yelled. I sobbed. I mourned the relationship I’d had for eighteen years. I mourned the future we should have had. I became angry. I fell into a black hole of desperation. And it was good.

I’ve realized that I have to let myself feel. There has been a significant change in my life. Of course there are feelings. Of course I need to deal with them. If we don’t embrace grief, we can’t heal. If we can’t heal, we will never move forward. We will stay where we are, carrying the weight of all we’ve lost. We’re not made to do that.

We must remember that Jesus came before us. He felt everything we’ve ever felt. Think about that. Our greatest joys, our greatest sorrows. He’s felt it all. We may think that no one understands what we’re going through, but I can promise you that at least one being does completely understand.  Jesus.

Not only did He experience it, He showed us how to handle it. How often we forget that there is an instruction manual. We have the bible! He shows us how to handle the hardest of times with grace. He shows us by example how to keep the faith. He tells us 365 times not to be afraid. Ladies, we can’t get so lost in ourselves that we forget to seek feel the pain 2Him. He is here with me through this. He is there with you through your struggles. We only have to allow ourselves to feel to know.

Grief is no joke. It hurts, and that’s a huge understatement. But it’s necessary. My grieving time is far from over, but I feel lighter somehow. I’ve moved forward. I’m beginning to heal.

We aren’t meant to do this alone. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone to help you through it. God created community for a reason. Churches everywhere will welcome you. There are support groups for every situation. And most of all, continue to seek the Lord.

Love and prayers to all of you.

Click here to submit a prayer request. bible coffee

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18 Music

“Hold My Heart” by, Tenth Avenue North it is written

It is Written

You know those times when it doesn’t just rain, it pours? The times where not just one or two things go wrong, but everything seems to go wrong? We try. Things fall apart. We try harder. More things fall apart. It can throw us into desperation, frustration, and sometimes depression. And while some might say all of this means you’re going down the wrong road, and you need to try something different or go in a different direction, I say it may very well mean you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

When we live life for ourselves, and focus on our own needs and wants, things are generally pretty good. But when we start to seek His will, begin to focus on where He wants us, do what He’s called us to do, that’s when we often find roadblocks and hardships. Seems backward, right?

If it’s His plan for us, why is it so hard?

  • The Bible Warns us. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. 2 Timothy 3:12 Sounds like fun! Where do I sign up? LOL. It’s a common misconception that once you become a Christian, life is easy peasy. It’s In fact, people who seek God honestly and humbly will experience hardships. But trust Him. His plan is perfect and if you keep going, the reward far outweighs any earthly hardship you’ll endure.
  • The enemy attacks. If you’re targeted by the enemy, congratulations! No, really. I’m serious. It means you’re about to make a difference. It means you’re on the path to furthering the kingdom of God. It means that you’re allowing God to use you. That is AMAZING! Well, it’s amazing to everyone but the enemy. He doesn’t like it so much. It’s never fun to be in the middle of a spiritual war. But, in one, we are. When he’s attacking you, respond with scripture the way Jesus did. It is written. God keeps His promises. No matter what lies the enemy is telling you. No matter what doubt he tries to plant in you. It is written. The spirit dwells inside of you. Respond with the words of our Lord. The enemy is powerless against them.
  • He’s teaching us to rely on Him. I’ve talked about this before in When Life Is More Than You Can Handle. We try to handle things ourselves. We’ve got this. He’s only God – creator of the universe, the one who knit me in my mother’s womb, but I’ve got this. I can handle this. Oh, but it’s always pride before the fall, isn’t it? The truth is, we do need Him. We just forget how much we need Him. Be humble, or He will humble you.

Some of you are kind of freaked out right now, right? None of this sounds fun at all. Well, hardships are never fun. Trust me. I’ve got a lot of them right now. And just when I think I can’t take anything else, when I think that God has somehow forgotten about me, or wonder if my efforts are making any difference at all, someone will reach out and tell me how my words have helped them. They’ll say things like “I really needed to read that today” or “you have no idea how much your blog means to me” or “you inspired me to go back to church”. Now, while these messages touch me and make me so happy, I know it’s not me. It’s all God. He is speaking to these people through me. It is the most incredible, humbling thing I’ve ever felt. 

The truth is, when you’re living for yourself, and not seeking God’s will, you aren’t fulfilling your purpose. That will leave you feeling empty and unsatisfied. God has a plan for your life. And while the attacks aren’t fun, I’ll let you in on a little secret: God wins. It is written. I have read it. He has promised. bible coffee


For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Matthew 23:12

And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved. Matthew 10:22

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 Music

I Will Trust In You by Lauren Daigle YouTube

I Will Trust In You by Lauren Daigle Spotify nervecited1

Give It To God

Nervcited. It’s a word my daughter made up to describe how she feels before dancing at nerveciteda competition. The combination of nervousness and excitement is apt for all kinds of situations. I heard some news today that caused my heart to stutter with absolute excitement and nervousness. I’ve sat here trying to write this post for a couple of hours and all I can think about is this piece of news. Seriously, guys. Nervcited is a thing!

I know this situation is completely out of my control. It’s in God’s hands. And though He is God, the creator of the heavens and the earth, it’s hard to let go and trust Him to take care of things. What we really mean though, is take care of things the way we want them. He always takes care of things. He is always working things out according to His plan, so why don’t we trust Him? We know that His plan doesn’t always align with ours, that’s why.

We’ve all been down this road. We all think we know exactly what should happen. We all make our plans. And then BAM! Things go the opposite way we expected them to go. Due to this, we tend to get a little nervous about trusting God when the stakes are high. But that’s when we should be thankful He is in control.

We Often Forget

We often forget that God is much bigger than our mountains. Maybe it’s because we can only see the mountains in front of us. We let fear of the worst case scenario scare us into anxiety and mistrust. But God isn’t a mere human. God is God. The creator of all things – the creator of you and me. He loves us with an intensity we can’t comprehend. If there is anyone we can trust, it is God.

Still, we get stressed out and anxious. Giving things to God – trusting Him to take care of situations is difficult. But we have to for our own wellbeing. If we try to control things that are out of our control, it can have a profound negative effect on our wellbeing.

So how do we give it to God?

  • Pray about it. I know – obvious. But how are you currently praying about these things? Does it go something like “God, pleeeeeaaasssee make this happen” or is it more like “God, you know the desires of my heart in this situation. God, I know that you have the power to make this situation turn out the way I want it to. Lord, as much as I want this to go my way, I’m giving it to you. I turn over my attempt at control and trust that you will make this go according to your perfect plan. God, I trust you.”
  • Trust Him. The words we pray are mere words unless it’s backed by trust. Do we really trust Him to take care of it? If not, we need to dig into the word. I mean this with so much love when I say, if you don’t trust God, there is a disconnect somewhere in your relationship. We all know that any disconnect in our relationship with God is on our end.
  • Accept the outcome. In the event our situation doesn’t go in the way we would have liked, how do we react? We might be mad at God – and that’s okay. But ultimately, we have to realize that He knows best. Maybe He was protecting us. Maybe He has bigger and better plans for us. So often we let these things affect our relationship with God in a negative way. I challenge you to trust that He only wants what is best for us. He will never leave nor forsake you.


Remember, God is mad about you. There is nothing He wants more than a relationship with you and your faith in Him. bible coffee

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved  Psalm 55:22

“For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you’” Isaiah 41:14

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you   1 Peter 5:6-7 Music


Blessings by Laura Story YouTube

Blessings by Laura Story Spotify when life is more than you can handle

When Life Is More Than You Can Handle

I’ve heard it said many times that God won’t give you more than you can handle. Recently, I learned that is untrue. You see, I am in the middle of a storm. My heart is when life is more than you can handleabsolutely broken right now. I get up, I go to work. I smile, crack a few jokes. I try to focus on my to-do list. I shuffle kids around in the evening, and then it’s a mad rush to get everything done before going to bed. All of that is fine. I’m busy and that keeps my mind from going to the dark place that I know waits for me in the silence. The place that utterly terrifies me. The place where the pain is overwhelming and it actually steals my breath. As I lie there in a fetal position, the pain won’t be denied any longer, and I know this is more than I can bear on my own.

I believe storms like this are more than we mere humans can handle on our own strength. I also believe that that is by design. If things are always somewhere on a scale of great to not good, we wouldn’t learn to rely on God. But when life falls somewhere between horrible and devastating, as much as we might try, we can’t make it through without Him.

Why we don’t seek God in storms:

  • We don’t realize how bad it really is. Sometimes we’re caught in a somewhat delusional state. Sure, we know our situation is not good, but this is nothing we can’t handle, right? Wrong. Pastor Rick Warren once said that seeking God should be our first response to everything, rather than waiting until the situation is dire to cry out to Him. We forget that God is always there waiting for us. He never strays away from us.
  • Pride. Have you ever hung out with a one-year-old? Have you ever watched them try to climb onto the sofa, but they just can’t quite get on? You reach over and try to help them, but they swat your hand away and say, “I can do it by myself!” That is often us. God wants to help us, to heal us, but we push Him away and say, “I’ve got this, God.” But we don’t. We need Him in every situation. Good, bad, and otherwise.
  • We’ve forgotten about Him. If we aren’t used to talking to God, there’s a good chance you will wait to reach out to Him until you feel like there is nothing left but God. Don’t wait! Let Him love you through this time.

I’m still learning how to decipher when God is speaking to me and when my brain is speaking to me. But there was once in a very broken state I actually heard God speak to me. I know, some of you are rolling your eyes. But it’s true. As I lay in bed, crying, begging for sleep to overtake me, I heard, “I am here.” An immediate calmness came over my shaking body. God was there, and though I couldn’t feel His arms around me, I felt held, I felt loved, and finally, I slept.

How Do We Seek God In The Storm?

  • Seek God relentlessly. You need strength, love, and hope. He is the source of all of these. Have you ever seen the episode of The Office where Pam and Jim use a Bluetooth to stay on the phone all day? (I love The Office. LOL) Imagine when life is more than we can handleyou have a Bluetooth in your ear at all times with God on the line, waiting to talk to you about everything. Talk to Him. He’s listening.
  • Read scripture. There are several ways to do this. The most obvious is a Bible. But if you don’t have one, you can visit several websites like this one to read scripture. You can also get the Bible app on your phone or tablet for free. Or, if you need a pretty picture, Pinterest is full of pretty pictures with scripture. I believe God will reveal what He wants to you through His word.
  • Pray. There is power in prayer. Pray passionately. Don’t worry about what you think you should say, don’t be formal. Just speak to Him.

God uses all things for His glory – even our storms. Without the storm I’m currently in, I wouldn’t have started this site. Now, every day, I hear from at least one woman who says these posts, posts that are inspired by the love of God, have touched them and made a difference in their lives. God is using my pain, this storm to reach others in His name! How AMAZING is that?

Ladies, remember one thing: God loves you! He loves you madly, wildly, passionately. The creator wants to hear from you! He desires to be a part of your life. If that isn’t something to celebrate, I truly don’t know what is. Allow Him to fill you with joy even in the middle of a storm. Allow Him to use you in all your circumstances. You’ll be absolutely amazed at what He can do through us when we stop trying to live life on our strength. bible coffee

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 Music

“Beautiful History” by Plumb YouTube

“Beautiful History” by Plumb Spotify

When You’re Stuck In The Victim’s Mindset

I tend to talk about mindset a lot and there’s a good reason. Mindset can make or break your dreams and goals. It is the difference between joy and bitterness, success and defeat, faith and hopelessness. This particular mindset can take root and be very difficult to fight out of. I’m talking about the victim mindset.

Remaining in a victim mindset is the most destructive thing you can do to your mental and emotional wellbeing. Notice I said “remaining in a victim mindset”. The truth is we have all been victims of something hurtful in our lives. Some have been physically and/or emotionally abused, some sexually assaulted, mistreated, hurt, betrayed, the list can go on forever. We live in a broken world with broken people. We have all been a victim and we have every right to feel what we feel about that situation. However, sometimes we get stuck there and never move on. Sometimes we can’t get over being a victim and we start to see ourselves as a victim in every other relationship and situation.

Why we can’t live in our victim mindset:

  • True, you have every right to feel victimized. You have been deeply hurt. And sometimes we have to spend a little time in the victim mindset to even wrap heads around it. This is where it gets dangerous. After a while, we either pick ourselves up and rise a stronger person, or we let that familiar mindset take deep root in our lives, allowing bitterness, anger, and distrust to play a leading role in our lives.
  • When we live in the victim mindset, we sabotage ourselves. We become jealous of all the good things others have and take it as a personal attack that we don’t have those things too. Our unhappiness pours out from us no matter how hard we try to hide it. We tend to have negative responses and attitudes about everything, effectively causing our bosses to look elsewhere for advancement, spouses to shut down, and friendships to end. At that point, we feel sorry for ourselves because everything is a mess, not realizing how different it could have been if we’d been in a healthier frame of mind.
  • We see everything as a competition. Your sibling might have a bigger house – you feel envious, your coworker got a promotion – you start to look for their weaknesses and criticize them to others to make yourself seem like a better choice, someone has a talent that you feel you should have, so you come up with a weak excuse not to like them. In this state of mind, we are unable to truly be happy for others.

So what does it take to break out of the victim mindset?

  • First, and foremost, seek God. He is the ultimate healer. You may find that you’ mad at Him for “allowing” whatever you went through to happen. That’s okay. Tell Him. Yell at Him if you have to because here’s a little secret: He already knows. So tell Him. Tell Him how much you hurt. Tell Him you need healing. His promises are true. He will not leave you to go through this alone. Only He can reveal how this awful situation will be used for His plan, but trust this: His plan is perfect. He will not leave nor forsake you. He will heal you.
  • Talk to a counselor. There is something about just talking and being real with no filter that is therapeutic. You can’t hold all of the emotions, thoughts, memories in forever. You have to let them out if you’re going to move on. They can also give you helpful emotional/mental exercises and tools to help you on your way to a healthy mindset.
  • Make the decision. Ultimately, you have to want to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I know it’s hard. We get comfortable in our pity party, but that is not a party we need to attend. We have to choose to move on. It can be a long road, but the grass truly is greener on the other side. Imagine a life of joy! You can have that again.

This world is full of heartbreak. We all have a story. But we must remember that with God, all things are possible! All things. If you are residing in a victim state of mind, you may have felt a bit attacked in this post. Please let me assure you this was written with so much love. God’s plan for you is joy, wholeness, and a close relationship with Him. It is possible! You just have to take the first step toward healing – seek God. bible coffee


“LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.” Psalms 30:2

The righteous cry, and the LORD hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Psalms 34:17-20

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 Music

“The Hurt And The Healer” by Mercy Me YouTube

“The Hurt And The Healer” by Mercy Me Spotify FOMO Blog

Why We Struggle With FOMO (And how To Stop)

Everyone likes to feel included. It’s fun hanging out with friends whether you’re going out or just doing nothing together. Having that companionship can be fulfilling. So it’s understandable that when we see our friends hanging out and having fun without us, we get jealous. We begin to stalk our friends on social media. What are they doing? Where are they? And most importantly, why didn’t they invite me? Welcome to FOMO, or “fear of missing out”.

Fear of missing out can plague anyone from kids to adults, though I’ve noticed that if the person has access to social media, FOMO can become a real problem. I’ve seen people stalk their friends to see where they were, and who they were with. People can become so consumed with being left out that it affects, and sometimes ruins friendships.

kristywyatt.comSo, why do we have a fear of missing out? It likely started on the playground. Let’s be honest, girls can be mean. We’ve all been the outcast at one time or another growing up. We watch as our “friends” play, wondering what is “wrong with me?”. Or “why don’t they like me?”. As we grow, – middle school, high school – it gets worse. By the time adulthood comes around, many of us don’t know what a healthy friendship looks like.

I’ve done a little experiment with FOMO. With the few people I’ve interviewed, all with varying degrees of FOMO, this is what I’ve found:

  • People who suffer from FOMO a great deal tend to have low self-esteem. These are people who don’t know what they have to offer. They don’t see themselves clearly. They assume that they aren’t liked, or that they’ve done something wrong – FOMO Blog 2 why else would someone not invite them? They dwell on this so much that it can ruin their entire day. They may cry about it. They may yell at their friends about it. They don’t believe they are worthy, so they assume their friends feel the same way.
  • People who suffer from FOMO a great deal may not have healthy friendships. If you are concerned about your friends talking negatively about you in your absence, perhaps you should evaluate those friendships. Chances are you’ve heard those friends say awful things about a mutual friend – a conversation you may have even participated in. But the flip side of that coin, when you are the subject, suddenly it seems so harsh. Allow me to gently say if you’re friends with someone who puts other friends down, they are likely doing it to you too. And somewhere in your heart, you know that – hence the FOMO.
  • It’s human nature. It’s only natural to have FOMO to some degree. Of course, we want to be included. Just keep it in check.

So, how do we get over FOMO?

  • Remember who you are. Who are you? You are a daughter of the one true KING. The creator of the universe loves you! You are fearfully and wonderfully made! There is no reason you should ever doubt your importance or your value. So what if you weren’t invited to some event? You can still do something great and fun!
  • Don’t count on others to have a good time. This is your job, love! If you feel FOMO Blog doing something, call a friend and make it happen.
  • Step away from Facebook. Stop. Just stop. You’re better than that. Be happy that your friends are having fun – we only want what’s best for them, right? Again, make your own fun happen.
  • Assume good intentions. We don’t always know the full story. Perhaps two of your friends had a disagreement, so they got together to work it out. Maybe they hadn’t spent time together in a while and needed some one on one time. This is hard but here it goes, not everything is about us. Yikes. That’s tough, right? Tough, but true. It likely didn’t occur to your friends that your feelings were hurt by not being invited because it wasn’t about you. It may have been something between them.
  • You do it too. Wait, what? That’s right. From the time we were twelve years old and our moms said you can only have five people spend the night for your sleepover, until now when we know we can only fit four other people in our car, we can’t always include everyone. Let me ask you something: when you’re hanging out with just a couple of friends, does it mean you don’t like your other friends? Of course not! And to think their feelings would be hurt for not being included in something you planned would make you feel horrible. Assume they feel the same way you do. They still love you!

When I was younger, FOMO was a big part of my life. Now, I get a kick of seeing my friends’ pictures of their fun without me. I laugh, comment, and “heart” everything. And I genuinely love it! Mostly because I’m chilling in my sweatpants and didn’t have to go anywhere. (My favorite!) But also because I love them and want them to enjoy life with me, and without me. That is what love is – wanting what’s best for them regardless of your role. It also helps to know I have an amazing “tribe”. My girls have my back ALWAYS. They aren’t bad mouthing me, and they want the very best for me. There is great peace in having such amazing FOMO Blog 4

FOMO can really be a struggle. I challenge you to dig in deep. Where do you stand with FOMO? How can you improve this? How can letting it go help your relationships with your friends? You’re an amazing woman – own it! You don’t need to be involved in absolutely everything to feel important or valuable. Remember who you are in Christ. bible coffee

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14

“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.”  Isaiah 49:15-16a Music

“You’re Not Alone” by Meredith Andrews YouTube

“You’re Not Alone” by Meredith Andrews Spotify

Spring Into Change

The birds’ songs ring through the morning air, little plant sprouts have shot up seemingly overnight, andwilfried-santer-233377-unsplash the sun has finally made an appearance through the break in the clouds. The warmer air and tree buds give us a sense of renewal and we can’t help but feel good. Welcome to Spring.

By now, we have likely given up on our New Year’s resolutions, but there is just something about spring that lights us up with possibilities. It’s our second chance. We’ve still got ¾ of the year left and we’re determined to make it great. Yes, springtime is a perfect time for resolutions – take 2. But before you choose to renew your resolution, or make a new one, may I make a suggestion?

Let’s change our frame of mind. That’s it. That’s my suggestion. Let’s work on thinking differently.

camila-damasio-259515-unsplashLike the rebirth of spring, each day is a do-over. We have the opportunity to start anew, or hold on to the pain of yesterday. We can choose to view the day as a gift with a new attitude and outlook, or continue to cling to the negative attitudes we tend to have. You can take two people in the same situation, and they could say two very different things about the situation based solely on their frames of mind.

It’s easy to complain about the rush hour traffic, and get angry when our workload is overwhelming. When our kids don’t do what we want them to, we lose our tempers. And the worst thing is we allow these things to ruin our entire day! We let these feelings and frame of mind to turn us into pessimists. Before we know it, we view every interaction and experience through the skewed vision of our negative frame of mind. We start to question people’s intentions – we’re sure they aren’t just being nice, they must want something. We complain about imperfections in everything. But since when has anything been perfect? Why is that suddenly an expectation? Everything we experience is filtered through our destructive mind, forcing even great things to look terrible.

I went on vacation to a beautiful resort in Mexico a couple years ago. This vacation was long overdue and I just couldn’t wait to arrive! I was greeted with cool, damp towels and shown to my luxurious room. But my heart was on the beach, so I wasted no time! As I stood taking in the waves, breathing in the salty air, I heard someone say to their spouse, “This is the ugliest beach I’ve ever been to! Look at all the seaweed!”

To me, the beach was pretty darn close to Heaven. I’d come from a long Kansas City winter, so the sun, sand, and water were exactly what I needed. Sure, there was seaweed and I, too, had been to beaches with prettier sand and water. But I didn’t care. I found it beautiful, because I wanted to.

We often forget how much is affected by our frame of mind. We forget to appreciate ourethan-robertson-132225-unsplash children when they’re trying our patience. We forget that our job is a blessing. We forget that the long drive to work is an opportunity to be alone with God. One day, when our lives look different, we will wish we could go back. We’ll give almost anything to experience our kids at this age again. We won’t remember the work we do, but we’ll remember the people we worked with fondly, and wish we could talk to them again. Think about this for a moment: One day, years from now, you will miss the very thing you’re complaining about. One day, you will wish you would have lived it happily instead of just existing in it.

We also tend to hold on to our mistakes and guilt. We drown in our pain when we’ve been hurt and refuse to forgive. We hold on to our misery until it’s the “right day” or “right season” to let it go; to start over. But that isn’t God’s plan for us. We should be spending time in prayer, asking God to help us let go of all these negative things daily, allowing the next morning be a brand new start. By doing this, you will find it easier to set, and achieve goals instead of resolutions.

A few friends of mine and I are reading “Your Best Year Ever” by, Michael Hyatt. This has been eye opening for us. He talks about setting and actually achieving goals – and mindset can make or break you! I highly recommend this book to everyone! You can change everything about your life by simply changing how you think.

Don’t limit self-evaluation, and resetting your mindset to only once or twice per year. Do it daily. Allow God to show you who you are in Him. Allow God to show you that you don’t need more things, or certain circumstances to be happy. You only need to choose happiness to have it.


Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:2

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Philippians 2:1-2

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-19


“Life Is Beautiful” By, The Afters YouTube

“Life Is Beautiful” By, The Afters Spotify

In The Middle Of The Storm

As followers of Christ, we are taught to bring our requests to God. When we want that raise or a new job, when we really need to sell the house so we can buy the new one with the extra bathroom, or when we just really would like to get a full night sleep without the baby crying, we pray. We pray for what we need, what we want, and for our parents’ health. We expect God to hear our prayers. We expect God to be faithful. We expect God to do what we want, when we want it. This is where we often run into trouble.

We forget that God is in control. We forget that God has a master plan. He doesn’t have a plan A, B, and so on. No, He has one plan. THE plan. This plan cannot fail. No matter how many things go wrong or seem impossible, God is already hundreds of steps ahead.

We humans have a habit of looking at our circumstances, and basing our opinions, goals, and conclusions on them. We forget that God’s view is by far superior to ours. It’s like comparing a basement window with a view of the brick building two feet away to the view of Hawaii on top of a volcano. There is no comparison. He sees you and your circumstances, but He also sees your future. He is intimately familiar with the storm you’re in, and how it will shape you and make you ready for the brighter days ahead. We merely see the storm.

We get angry with God. We say “What did I do to deserve this?” and “He must really be mad at me.” Nowhere in the bible does it say that once we believe, life is perfect. No, life can’t be perfect because we live in a world full of imperfect people. We all know this, and yet, we expect life to be easy. Why? Where did that expectation come from? Some might say “Well, if He really loves me, then why would He allow this to happen?” I can’t answer that question for you. I can only say that nowhere in the entire world, universe, or beyond will you find someone who loves you more than the way God loves you.

God loves you so much that you are a part of His master plan. Yes, you! You play a leading role. And for whatever reason, you have to go through this storm and trust that He has a very good reason for it. It takes absolute trust in Him to have that outlook. But when you do, it changes your frame of mind. You look at these circumstances differently than you did before. Your expectations change. You realize that God did not forsake you, He’s merely molding you to be the person you need to be for His plan.

It hurts. Trust me, I know. I’m in the middle of a massive storm right now. It’s the most difficult time I’ve ever lived through. But we’re not meant to go through this alone. God gave us arms to hug each other, to comfort one another. God gave us tongues to speak His truth to someone who is hurting. God gave us other women who have been though the same storm you’re in now to speak about their journey and encourage us. God gave us a love letter with all the secrets to life – we only have to read it. God gave us a savior so we will never be apart from Him.

Sometimes we forget how truly blessed we are. We’re blinded by the dark clouds, the long journey, and the pain. But if we’re brutally honest, we can admit that we are extremely blessed. We can see that God hasn’t forgotten us, nor does He hate us.

One day we will look back at this moment in our lives. We will say things like “the only reason I made it through that time was because of God’s strength, God’s love, and the people God placed in my life.” You may even find yourself looking into the tearful eyes of a woman who is in the middle of a storm similar to the one that you endured and you will thank God for the storm that shaped you into the woman you became. You will thank Him for the opportunity to share your experience and His love. One day we will more than understand. We will share His view.



“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm, plans to give you hope and a future.”     Jeremiah 29:11

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  2 Corinthians 12:9

But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength.  2 Timothy 4:17

piano“Praise You In This Storm” YouTube

“Praise You In This Storm” Spotify